She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
