If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
