I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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