Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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