just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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