Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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