just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
