Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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