I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
