Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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