im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
there's paper in my vomit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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