it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
