i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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