I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize