Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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