see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
