Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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