I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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