You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
