i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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