I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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