we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
