try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
