HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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