Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
