Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
