Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize