so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
