Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
