He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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