Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
