hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
