I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
