I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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