Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
