marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
this will be a night to untag.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
