My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
