In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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