Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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