I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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