like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
