my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
