did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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