Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
