My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
