My first STD was from a foam party
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
