The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
