She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
