The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
