Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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