Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial