I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles