Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed

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  (804): the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight (1-804): i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed http://tfl.nu/tivd
  Replies (38) Good night (3874) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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  (818): Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award http://tfl.nu/89h0
  Replies (10) Good night (1091) Bad night (3746) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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  (703): The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up. http://tfl.nu/ttp7
  Replies (14) Good night (5334) Bad night (1434) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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  (902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es
  Replies (7) Good night (2763) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj

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  (914): im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj http://tfl.nu/kgi8
  Replies (22) Good night (5430) Bad night (1663) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  ..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"

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  (206): ..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance" http://tfl.nu/51ez
  Replies (10) Good night (3002) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

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  (828): I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/gg69
  Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (2027) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?

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  (646): why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night? http://tfl.nu/e1cc
  Replies (9) Good night (1397) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention

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  (228): I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention http://tfl.nu/1mmd
  Replies (6) Good night (1462) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar

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  (740): You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar http://tfl.nu/iv8a
  Replies (8) Good night (520) Bad night (1867) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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  (519): he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint. http://tfl.nu/fup1
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

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  (516): Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night" http://tfl.nu/00ak
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

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  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

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  (832): Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober. http://tfl.nu/wntc
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.

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  (440): you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied. http://tfl.nu/16n4
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt

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