you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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