Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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