p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
