I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
