Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
