No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
